{AMANDACHAN♥}

I never thought I'd fall. The fear of falling was never on my mind. Until the moment it happened, the blood, the pain, the gasps-- that was when i realise that I had taken things for granted. I guess i was luckily it was a clean fall and not a slide across the courts.

Thanks to renc cuier lava for taking care of my wound.

Cuier and Lava went with me to the general office and the lady suggested i put iodine. "it might hurt," she said. i said, sure, go on, it'd heal faster.

(and lava was playing with the cotton bud head, rolling it between her fingers absentmindedly while going, "don't worry, this cotten bud will help clean the wound..")

so we went outside the GO because
1) i don't want to stain the white couch
2) there's a secuity camera inside (you'll realise why later)
3) the lady ddn't want me to scream in the GO. which was good advice.

So I took the cotton bud and carefully put at one corner. it didn't hurt. one FULL second later the pain kicked in and i grabbed lava, cuier grabbed the cotton bud and quickly applied iodine for me. i was holding on to lava, practically twisting her arm off, and whacking her like crazy. lava seemed to be in more pain than me. so so so sorry. i really appreciate everything, thank you two SO MUCH.

There are other occasions when i chose not to put iodine because i was afraid it would hurt. i know that when you fall, you might tend to blame the people that had tripped you, but i didn't. because i knew what was the real reason: i was a coward.

i did not dare to apply iodine. although i KNEW it would hurt alot alot alot, it would be better. but still i didn't.i talked to the others about putting the iodine, but still, i didn't. silly of me.

I was afraid of the initial sharp pain like someone was rubbing little stones against it. and worse still, at that time i didn't have any Lava to let me hold on to while i cried out in pain. or a Cui Er to continue putting iodine while i kept telling her to stop. (okay i was practically begging her to stop. lucily she didn't heed my words)

And i regretted not doing it. I don't know if i turned back time, i would have made the same decision, but that old wound got infected. it hurt more than if i had chosen to put iodine on it. now it burned and burned and i had no one to blame by myself.

she once told me "just bear with it, it'll be over soon, okay?" when i didn't agree to put iodine. i said okay i'll try.

and now, the wound still refuses to heal. it still hurts, it's getting worse and it will never be okay. it seemed so fresh as if it was new, and everytime i feel the sting, which is LOADS worse than the original pain. and it's too late to do anything about it anymore.

and then they added salt, bit by bit, grain by grain onto the wound;